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me and my transgender girlfriend [14 Oct 2010|04:38pm]
I am in a relationship with a transexual male (male to female), we have been in a relationship for almost a year bar 2 days. i love her to pieces and she loves me but as she progresses through the stages she has changed very much in her temperment etc, i understand fully that she must take care of herself and that she must be selfish and self indulgent but my problem is that i am trying and trying to cope with this as i love her so very much but our relationship is at a tpping point and i want to do anything i can to claw it back from there but i don't know what to do.

there are extenuating circumstances that are causing some problems, sex (unfortunately mainly my fault) i understand that  as a transexual it becomes less and less possible to have the wish for sex let alone have it unfortunately being only 19 my testosterone seems to be telling my brain what to do, money unfortunately as i have no job and no savings left after payinh my tuition fees and what i had left on keeping myself alive in the city she had graciously given me a place to stay with her and has thus far been paying for most things , patience i understand that hormones replacement therapy means she can become more agitated easily but whenever there is a problem she turns a molehill into a mountain, not feeling happy she says to me that she is not hppy in her life as there is so much argueing which is mostly caused by herself that she never argues with anyone but me and this makes me sad as i have no way of calming her down in most cases.

i try to give her space but as we live in a small 1 person studio it is hard to do, i really miss what she once was but at the same time am looking very much forward to what she will become at the same time i am not to happy about what i hav become i hate argueing i hate fighting i hate being so stressed out. my hero and i suppose the person i once doppleganged was dylan from the magic roundabout in so much as there is nothing to worry about there are no problems cross the bridge when you get there etc.

please i am begging anyone who can give me some helpful advice to do so asap she means the world to me and i do not want to lose her thanks
2 contributions| offer your advice and support

[11 Feb 2009|01:08pm]

Jessica London

Seamless body briefer. Firm slimming control that targets your mid-section and hips. Cool and light feel against your body. Nylon/spandex. Machine wash. Imported.

Seamless body briefer

Works and Comfortable

jacani Phoenix, AZ 2/11/2009


4 5

Sizing: Feels true to size

Pros: Comfortable

Cons: Must wear bra with it

Best Uses: Formal Occasions, Under Dresses, Office

Describe Yourself: Comfort Driven

This is comfortable, light weight-easy to put on and does what it's suppose to do as far as smoothing out the ripples and rolls... need to wear a bra with it as it isn't enough support for larger breasts. Would recommend getting it. One of the most comfortable pieces of undergarment I've tried.


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[31 Jan 2009|10:49pm]

Jessica London

Floral-print knit dress with three-quarter sleeves. Imported.

  • Knit drapes beautifully for a smooth fit, and packs wrinkle-free
  • Hidden control panel trims your waist, hips and thighs, so you look one size smaller
  • Flattering twisted v...

Hidden-Slimmer Knit Dress

Nice dress.

jacani phoenix, az 1/31/2009


4 5

Fit: Feels true to size

Waist: Feels true to size

Length: Feels true to length

Pros: Comfortable, Nice Fabric, Attractive Design, Wrinkle Resistant, Flattering

Best Uses: Going Out, Wear To Work, Casual Wear

Describe Yourself: Classic Dresser

Comfort vs Style: Comfort Driven

I bought this dress to wear to work. It surprised me by being so comfortable. I really liked the fact that it is lined, no need to wear a slip with it. I like the material, too.


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[31 Jan 2009|10:46pm]

Jessica London

Lightweight cardigan in soft acrylic/cotton jersey offers superior quality at an irresistible price. Fully fashioned with jewel neck and three-quarter sleeves. Imported.

  • Soft, lightweight jersey is perfect for warmer weather
  • Fully fashioned for a qu...

J.G. Hook® Cardigan


jacani phoenix, az 1/31/2009


4 5

Chest Size: Feels true to size

Sleeve Length: Feels true to length

Pros: Lightweight, Comfortable

Cons: Print not clear in spots, Feels stiff

Best Uses: Casual Wear, Work, Layering

Describe Yourself: Comfort-oriented, Classic, Practical

I bought this sweater to wear to work. I like the fit, but it feels stiff from the print on it. And the print isn't a very good quality, some spots are not printed well. I kept it because the black is what didn't seem to print and I used a black Sharpie to fill in the spots, which worked. Still I was disappointed in it.


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[31 Jan 2009|10:41pm]

Jessica London

Frilly V-neckline and pretty empire waist with three-quarter sleeves.

  • Cotton/spandex jersey.
  • Machine wash. Imported.
  • 26' long. 28' long.

JL Studio™ Ruffled Tee

Nice casual top with a feminine touch.

jacani phoenix, az 1/31/2009


4 5

Sizing: Feels true to size

Length: Feels true to length

Sleeve Length: Feels true to length

Pros: Flattering, Comfortable, Good Fit, Stylish

Best Uses: Casual Wear

Describe Yourself: Career, Bargain Shopper

Perfect for dressing up jeans. I can wear this to work on business casual days if I pair it with the right pant.


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Hey :) [21 Jan 2009|09:18pm]

[ mood | artistic ]

Hey everyone,

A very happy new year to you all!

My name is Imogen, I live in Cambridge UK. I was born female and am happy with my body but consider my self Gender Queer. I came out as gay at 14 (nearly wrote 144!!) and have been with my partner for a number of years now.

I am a photography student in Cambridge and I am just about to go into the final term of my 3rd year. I have covered quite a few topics over the last three years including self harm, mental health, eating disorders and physical disability. You can see some of my work here: Flickr or my own web site here: Indigo Clouds Photography

This term I want to do a project surrounding 'Gender Queer' and 'Transsexuality'. So I am looking for people who might want to be involved in the project. I will be hoping to photograph a few aspects of the topic including things like: following someone through aspects of their transition, photographing people with their families, following people to Dr's appointments, visiting and photographing both home & work, doing some studio shots (including partners, with/with out make up, in underwear etc) .. For helping me out you would get a copy of your images on a disk, a copy of your favorite 5 printed up to A2 and many many thank yous from me!

Having dealt with subjects that are often unknown to family members or friends I am more than happy for people to remain anonymous. As you can see from my self harm images most participants don't have their face in the images. I would like for some of those who wish to take part to be able to have their face in the images, purely due to the nature of the project.

I don't have any money to pay those who take part but I could help with travel costs if people are on a low income and I am more than happy to provide accommodation in the form of the sofa in my front room!

Please feel free to contact me with questions, anything you might like to know. Also, feel free to pass this post onto friends who might not see it on LJ or even to other communities. I would also like people to take part in a survey that will be part of the final project so if you would like to receive that you can get in touch.

Finally, during previous projects people have contacted me suggesting that aspects of the project might be highlighting the 'wrong' parts of the issues. I warmly welcome this contact and can only understand the subject to a point with out this source of information.

My contact details:

E mail - Imogen.Jo@Gmail.com
Mobile - 0754 99 33 030
LJ - New_Kinda_Freak

Thank you for reading,
Kind Regards,

Imogen May

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new trans partners group, jersey city, nj [06 Jul 2008|10:09am]


here's a heads up that a partners group has just formed at hudson pride connections community center in jersey city, nj. it's held the first wednesday of each month at 7p, located at 32 jones street. leave comment for more info.

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i'm new [17 May 2008|07:14pm]

[ mood | hopeful ]

hey, all:

i know this community hasn't been updated in a while, but i still want to say "howdy" to everyone who might still read it. i just created this blog specifically for the topics discussed here. my husband is a transman and i have identified as lesbian for half of my life, so many interesting themes ensue. i invite you to add me if you see fit. i could really use the support.


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a recent issue [02 Jan 2006|06:01pm]

My boyfriend is 18, and I'm 21. We're both in college, and this is the first vacation that we've been at our respective homes. I'm close with my family, but he's had a pretty rocky relationship with his, especially now since he came out to them as trans (which just happened 2 weeks ago). I'll be flying to visit him on Wednesday, and then we're going to take a vacation on our own (among accepting friends and family).

I'm having trouble dealing with this on the periphery. I want to do anything I can to support him, especially because his family has been nearly unbearable. But his parents respect me, and I think my talking to them about some of the things they're worried about might help. He's okay with that, but at the same time, he often needs to shut down emotionally so that he can deal with them -- but then I have an emotionally absent boyfriend for a few days. Or we spend so much time talking about what's going on with him that I feel like a therapist and not a girlfriend. We're both pretty well-balanced, putting the other's needs in front of our own (so that my concern is what he needs and his concern is what I need), but his needs are just stacked so much higher right now.

So, I guess what I'm asking is how others have gotten through this part. I know that if I force myself to take a backseat while it's hard, I'm going to end up getting bitter (I have a tendency to be a giver, and I'll lose myself in the support I give him) and I cherish our relationship too much to do that. Any input/experience would be much appreciated.

3 contributions| offer your advice and support

anyone still checking? [30 Dec 2005|12:03pm]

Is anyone still hanging around on the community? I'm really hoping so. I've been looking for some sort of community, cyber or otherwise, to connect with as my boyfriend begins his transition. It's been a rough road, and we're each other's only allies -- friends and family are having enough trouble dealing with it, and we're the only ones invested enough to care about how we can deal with it together as well as individually.

So. There's much to talk about, much to giggle about, and much to deal with, and I'd be ecstatic if there were other folks around talking about/giggling about/dealing with similar things.

3 contributions| offer your advice and support

Bebe's column (cross-posted) [09 May 2005|01:47pm]
Hey, y'all! This is Bebe Gunn and I wanted to let you know that I'm writing a weekly column on the website www.shesoutallnight.com. As the partner of transman Buck Shot, I will be (and have been) writing about issues that affect the trans community. Just another way to try ot get our voices heard, people! Also, if you live in the New York City area and want me to cover an event or if you have a topic you think needs attention, e-mail me at bebe@shesoutallnight.com. Thanks!!

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ftms on NPR... [05 Feb 2005|03:03pm]

This American Life on NPR aired a really good ftm/love segment today.

catch it if you can, otherwise they should post it on their site soon (www.thislife.org).

3 contributions| offer your advice and support

ftm & femme drag duo at WOW in NYC Thurs, Fri, & Sat [08 Dec 2004|04:30pm]
Bucky & Bebe's Holiday Hootenanny!

starring Buck Shot & Bebe Gunn
Thurs - Sat, December 9 - 11, 2004, 10pm
$10, or what you can afford
WOW cafe theater
Reservations and Info: 212-777-4280
59 e 4th st between 2nd ave and the Bowery

A collection of queeriginals, transtastic boi-grrl duets and smart-ass sing-a-longs designed to wow all urban revelers!

Bebe Gunn aka Shana Scudder is a hot high femme talent out of North Carolina with a voice like honey and a gleam in her sexy eye!

Drag King Book centerfold Buck Shot aka Anderson Toone was an original WOW festival performer and is a longtime fixture in the drag and punk firmament, most recently as Frankie in the all-singing, all-kinging Frankie Tenderloin & the Rent Boy$. Bucky & Bebe's Holiday Hootenanny is guaranteed to ring in the season with a cock-eyed smile.

see Http://andersontoone.com & http://www.wowcafe.org for more info
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[29 Oct 2004|11:55am]

a professor of mine wants to learn more about trans stuff...what resources should i suggest?


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introduction [18 Oct 2004|04:16pm]

[ mood | confused ]

let's see... where to start... I am a SO of someone that considers themselves to be transexual... potentially ftm. we have been together for just over a year, and we were together and dating starting as two females... then it turned into her slowly becoming more butch... and the hair getting shorter... and then she told me about being trans... she figured we would break-up, but i told her that i loved her anyways, and did some research... i figured things wouldn't happen as fast as they have, but over the summer, most people at work refered to her with male pronouns, and thought she was a guy, so lately she has come out as trans at school... i am trying to be gender neutral, and all of that, but i am having problems switching over to all male pronouns and the male name... we both decided it would just take some time, but i get offended when people refer to her as my boyfriend or to us as a straight couple... i identified as a lesbian, but i have always believed that it wasn't necessarily the sex of the person, it was the person themselves... i find myself more attracted to women, but i think i am just really confused right now... because i am very attracted to her, and the thought of her being a guy... i find myself looking at guys some too now... and ... i don't know... if there is anyone out there that wants to talk about stuff like this... let me know... i need some support... jen

5 contributions| offer your advice and support

Surgery help... [23 Sep 2004|08:33am]


I have a friend who is having top surgery at the end of this month and I need some advice. I'm well-versed in trans stuff (my partner is trans) but I've never taken care of someone after surgery.

He's single and pretty much alone so I'd like to do as much as I can. The problem is that he's a tough old guy and doesn't like to ask for help. Here are the things I'd love to have help with:

*What kind of food is he likely to want? What kind of food can he eat?

*What kind of medical stuff should I be prepared to deal with?

*Will he have the energy to read or watch tv or will he be sleeping most of the time?

*How long should I bug him? In other words, at what point should I start to believe him when he says he doesn't need anything?

I know everyone is different but any advice you can give will be appreciated. Links and books are wonderful too.

Thanks in advance...

4 contributions| offer your advice and support

This might be goodbye for now. [30 Aug 2004|12:08pm]

Yesterday, my partner and I broke up. I am devastated. He decided that with everything he is going through with his transition and other challenges, that he cannot be in a relationship right now. Part of me totally understands. He needs to invest his emotional energy in himself. But at the same time, I cannot believe he is not going to be in my life anymore. I am numb. I don't want to just erase him and unsubscribe, but at the same time I am not an SO anymore. And it will probably be too painful to stay on this list.

I wish you all luck. You are amazing people. I hope the everything works out for you. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers.
1 contribution| offer your advice and support

Oprah [24 Aug 2004|04:14pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

Today's Oprah is about transgendered people (both FTM and MTF) It's on right now in Eastern Standard, but people in other time zones might be able to catch the whole thing later. I'll try to post a general recap after it's over. Right now she's interviewing Caden, an 11-year old FTM...so adorable! Anyway, catch it if you can.

This is cross-posted all over the place...sorry.

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Cross-posting Intro [19 Aug 2004|03:53pm]

Hi Everyone,
I have been lurking for awhile and decided that was pretty rude of me after all of you are so open with everything here. I'm a 19 year old bio girl dating a pre-surgery ftm. I'm new to all of this and want to thank all of you for all of the great posts you make in these lj communities; they really are helpful.

I was really hoping to find a SOFFA to talk to. I have spent hours upon hours upon hours researching and reading everything I can find about ftms online but there is nothing like being able to talk to another SOFFA and I don't know anyone. If anyone is interested or willing to talk. Please e-mail me at thissideoftrans@yahoo.com.

Have a wonderful day!

This entry was cross posted in partners_of_tg and partnersoftsmen
2 contributions| offer your advice and support

[14 Aug 2004|12:48pm]

well, i suppose i could let everyone know what my boy and i look like! here we are in all our splendiferous glory...i'm the gurly gurl...


3 contributions| offer your advice and support

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